


Present Me the Past; I'll Show You the Future

by Yamino_Yama



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Bonding, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Self-Reflection, time travel but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamino_Yama/pseuds/Yamino_Yama
Summary: Sogo just went in for a hug from his partner as he'd grown accustomed to doing every morning and night, but he's surprised when Tamaki reacts with a mix of shock and jittered nerves. The reaction is more like something he'd get from the Tamaki he used to know, the one from a past where they were still adjusting to each other, bonding. Of course, it makes sense when Sogo realizes that Past Tamaki is exactly who he's dealing with.
Relationships: Ousaka Sougo/Yotsuba Tamaki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39
Collections: Dear Butterfly: MEZZO" Exchange





	Present Me the Past; I'll Show You the Future

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written as part of the 2020 Mezzo” Exchange, stemming from an excellent prompt involving Part4 and Part1's Sou-chan switching and throwing Tamaki for a loop! It was a fun idea, but also complex, so I just had to give it a go! While the hows and whys to the 'switching' phenomenon aren't fully explained, I still tried not to leave it too up-in-the-air >< I hope it's satisfatory for the funny and sweet points at least. I enjoyed working on this regardless! ^^ Btw the 'present' in the title is a play on words: 'present' as in to give or introduce, and 'present' as in one's current state (wanted to use present, past, and future together). Have fun reading! As always, kudos and comments loved and appreciated <3
> 
> P.S. For fun, I included a reference to every MEZZO” song in this! Some are more on-the-nose than others. Enjoy trying to find them all. ^o^
> 
> P.P.S. If you are 18+, check out the other fic I wrote as a Pinch Hitter for the Exchange, titled “Showcasing Eternity.” Thank you! Happy MEZZO” Day!! Take care ^_~

Once finished with his morning chores, Sogo checked the time and smiled. It was time for his favorite day-starting activity. He headed for Tamaki's room, giving a light rap on the door before easing it open. Tamaki slept curled around one of his largest King Pudding plushies, muttering and smacking as though eating in his dreams. Sogo chuckled, smoothing Tamaki's hair away from his forehead to gaze at the boy's sleeping face a moment longer before giving his shoulder a gentle shake.

“Tamaki-kun, it's time to wake up. Mitsuki-san has breakfast waiting.”

Mentioning food made Tamaki's eyes open immediately, though it was apparent that he wasn't fully conscious by the way he stared at the ceiling. “Come on, Tamaki-kun. Wake up, for me.”

Sogo was surprised to see Tamaki's eyes flicker at him with interest, a slight scowl on his face where a soft smile would normally be. Had he actually been in the middle of a bad dream? Sogo watched him as Tamaki sloughed into a sit and eventually got to his feet, still eyeing Sogo with suspicion. Sogo tilted his head, asking questions with his own eyes, feeling more confused as Tamaki inched away from him.

“Why are you staring at me, Sou-chan. I'm up, and anyway it's a Friday. I've been trying hard all week. I can take my time every once in a while, right?”

“Sure, you can. You don't have to ask.”

Tamaki appeared shocked again then the distrusting look returned. “Then, what? You need something?”

He did need something, but it usually wasn't something he'd have to ask for by name. Ah, but maybe Tamaki was just keeping him in the practice of doing what he wanted. Sogo forced his self to relax, feeling his face heat at the thought of initiating a hug despite he and Tamaki sharing one every morning and night, with some extras sprinkled in throughout the day for good measure. It was always Tamaki rushing in first though, Sogo realized.

_So he wants me to make the first move this time._

Convinced that was it, Sogo stepped over to Tamaki and held his arms up.

But Tamaki gasped and moved further away.

“W-what are you doing, Sou-chan. What do you want?”

Sogo almost couldn't manage to say, but this was Tamaki. He'd want to know what was on Sogo's mind, and Sogo knew better than to keep things quiet from his partner, no matter how small.

“Um, I just wanted a hug.”

“ _You_ want to hug _me_?”

The confusion and hurt grappling in Sogo suddenly made way for irritation.

“Of course,” he snapped. “Why wouldn't I?”

“I mean, you don't even like me. You just work with me because you have to.”

“What are you talking about? How can you say that?” Sogo was shouting now, unable to contain his rage. “After everything we've been through, after I've told you that you're the number one person that changed my life and that I wouldn't even be the person I am if not for you.” Sogo noticed Tamaki's face reddening as his eyes widened, but he kept speaking. “How can you say that?” he asked again. “It's like something you'd have said around the time we'd just debuted . . .”

Tamaki was tilting his head at _him_ now. “We did just debut, Sou-chan. Like two weeks ago.”

*

Tamaki soon left Sogo to carry on with his morning routine, and while usually Sogo would have helped him with it, once alone, Sogo began pacing the floor. He tried not to panic as hundreds of plausible explanations for this morning mixed with the implausible. Against his will, his ponderings began spilling from his mouth. “Did Tamaki-kun hit his head and get amnesia? He didn't appear to have any signs of head trauma. Alien aduction? No, no, maybe he's just ill . . . I should have checked his forehead for a fever. What if I'm dealing with a clone, or a long, lost identical twin that my Tamaki-kun didn't know he had? Or maybe—”

“Osaka-san.”

Iori's voice made him jump, but he turned with a calm expression. “Yes, Iori-kun?”

Iori looked troubled, but his tone feigned indifference as he said, “You and Yotsuba-san both seem off today, and Nikaido-san reccommended that I not get involved, but I suggest you two sort things out soon. We can't have it affecting work.”

“Right.” Sogo nodded. “I agree. Thank you, Iori-kun. Have a good day.”

“You too, Osaka-san.” He surprised Sogo by giving a coy smile and adding, “Try not to wear a hole in the floor. Yotsuba-san may be unusual at times, but I doubt he's an alien.”

Sogo stared in stunned silence as he watched Iori leave, feeling like he would faint from embarassment. Had Iori been watching and listening to his rambling the whole time? Sogo couldn't think badly of Iori for eavesdropping since he'd been talking too loudly to himself. Sogo only wished that Iori hadn't been subjected to something as unsightly and mindnumbing as him having a breakdown. He'd have to find a way to atone for making Iori suffer through hearing nonsensical ideas born from his rattled nerves.

Were they all nonsense though? Sogo still couldn't figure out what was going on and why. With a sigh, he decided to get his mind off things he couldn't change or understand. Perhaps clearing his head could help him make sense of things, and nothing provided relaxation like housework, as though scrubbing things that required it helped clense the soul itself. No one else appeared to be home at the moment too, so he wouldn't get in anyone's way.

Hours flew by, and in time, the members began pouring in. Having learned how to bake muffins from Mitsuki at some point that Sogo wasn't sure whether to call the future or past, he'd made snacks for everyone. He hoped that no one would mind that he'd made a bit of an adjustment to the recipe. Nagi and Mitsuki greeted Sogo in the kitchen, as they took a couple and carried on to Nagi's room. Yamato returned shortly after, ruffling Sogo's hair and commenting how great the kitchen smelled, only to skip food, grab a beer from the fridge, and sit down in the common area with it. While he sipped, Yamato cast a lot of glances toward Sogo from the coach, and Sogo even caught a smirk, but without saying anything, eventually Yamato too went to Nagi's room. Sogo frowned, trying to think of what all the looks meant, but figured he'd just done something dumb or offensive, upset him like Tamaki or weirded him out like with Iori.

Bitter at himself, Sogo plugged the sink and ran the hot water, working up a lather with a couple squirts of dishwashing liquid. His mind wandered as he scrubbed the muffin pan.

Yamato must have thought that he was acting strangely, just as Tamaki had. Even though Sogo had been fighting not to do or say anything only his future self would until he sorted this mysterious occurance out. He must have failed somehow. Maybe something as farfetched as time-travel really was involved. If so, how could he get back where he belonged? What if there _was_ no way . . .?

The door opened again and Sogo put a pause on dishwashing, freezing with hands still coated in soap suds, as Riku and Iori entered with Tamaki trailing behind.

While Iori and Riku were playfully arguing too much to notice Sogo as they continued on to Riku's room, Tamaki turned to Sogo as though sensing him and trudged over. He looked from Sogo to the muffins Sogo had made, a question in his eyes. Sogo smiled at him and told him, “You can have one if you want?”

“You made them, Sou-chan?”

“That's right.”

Tamaki stilled eyed the snack with caution. “It's okay before dinner? Aren't they dessert? You always say I can't have sweets before dinner.”

“They're made with dark chocolate which, in moderation, can be a healthy alternative to milk chocolate. One wouldn't hurt. Please, go ahead, Tamaki-kun.”

Still hesitant, Tamaki picked up a muffin and gave it a sniff. His eyes sparkled with interest but he still gave Sogo one last glare, asking, “There's nothing weird in it, right? No hot sauce?”

“Ah, no, no hot sauce, but—”

Before Sogo could go on to explain that he _had_ taken the liberty of adding a secret ingredient, Tamaki had a chopped into his muffin, a look of shock slowly spreading on his face.

“I was about to tell you, there's no hot sauce in them but I _did_ add chili peppers, just a bit. I hope it's not too spicy for you. I should have told you to take a nibble to guage the heat level. I'm sorry.”

Sogo rambled on, head bowed, until he was curious enough to look up and see Tamaki's expression. Tamaki was frowning at the muffin, but to Sogo's surprise, he took another bite. “It's strange. It's kinda spicy, but not too much because it's also kinda sweet. Or more like . . . the spicy makes the dark bitter taste go away and brings a light sweetness out. It's like me and Sou-chan.”

A wave of relief struck Sogo and he chuckled. “Guess it's a MEZZO”-y flavor then.”

Tamaki's eyes sparked but then he cast them down, looking awkward, and Sogo wondered if he'd said something he shouldn't have again.

Sogo decided to give Tamaki a moment, using the time to finally finish up cleaning and wipe his hands dry. Afterwards, he spared a glance at Tamaki just in time to see him savor the last bit of his muffin. Sogo smiled as Tamaki chewed, unaware that a crumb lingered at the corner of his mouth. Without thinking, Sogo plucked the crumb from Tamaki's face and ate it, giving a satisfied moan. “It really it is good, if I do say so myself.”

He giggled, expecting Tamaki to join in, but instead saw Tamaki's face getting redder by the second as his eyes stretched with a look bordering on horrified.

“W-what do you think you're doing, Sou-chan.”

_What I always do._

Sogo wanted to say that, but at the same time, he realized he'd overstepped and there was no way of explaining it satisfatorily to a bewildered Tamaki; saying they shared food and fed each other all the time when that wasn't yet a reality would only make Sogo seem like a liar, or just downright insane. Sogo wanted to gut himself on the spot for his carelessness, but instead he scrunched his eyes shut and just tried to breathe as a wave of panic he could no longer fight off rushed over him.

He 'd been going about things all wrong. He was going to scare Tamaki. If working from the past and going forward was all he could do, there was a strong chance he would ruin their relationship beyond repair. What hope did he have of getting back the bond he had with Tamaki if he messed it up before it even began? All he had to do was act like his old self, right? Couldn't he even do that right? Did he ever do anything right to begin with?

As the self-doubt and insecurity he'd learned to push down began to resurface, Sogo took a deep breath and forced them back down, coming to a decision. He wouldn't act like his old self. He didn't want to. After everything Tamaki had done to help him shatter his false image and let his true self shine, he wouldn't snuff out the newfound light within him anymore.

He opened his eyes, expecting to still see Tamaki on the verge of fainting or fleeing, but Tamaki was leaning toward him with concern swimming in his gaze. The shock of Tamaki's face so close killed the words Sogo had prepared before he could utter them, so it was Tamaki who spoke first. “Are you okay, Sou-chan? I-I didn't mean to upset you. I just . . . wasn't expecting that.”

Tamaki looked embarassed still, but not afraid, more worried and curious than offended.

Sogo suddenly wondered if he'd misunderstood something, too caught up in resurrecting his old thoughts. Tamaki didn't fear him, didn't hate him. If the future had taught him one thing, it was that Tamaki felt the opposite, always wanting him close, just like Sogo wanted Tamaki, loving him. Those feelings hadn't come from nowhere. He knew that, but he'd thought they'd been dormant, sleeping and growing stronger before awakening, like in himself. But is that how things had started for Tamaki? Looking at Past Tamaki now, Sogo couldn't deny that he was the spitting image of a person with a crush. How long had Tamaki liked him? Was it longer than he'd thought? As apparent as it was to him now, had the old Sogo not noticed?

He remembered that Tamaki used to feel like a mystery to him, but one that left him so intrigued, he didn't want to look away. His very essence was an image that shifted, allowing for so many colors and shapes that it was dazzling. Although Sogo hadn't known it early on, looking at Tamaki from different angles was essential to understand and appreciate all he had to offer, so it wouldn't be a wonder if he'd misread some of Tamaki's words and actions in the past.

Or maybe he was reading Tamaki wrong now because of how he knew he'd feel later . . .

Confusion breeding more confusion, Sogo quit questioning everything, and thought of something he could do to satisfy what he'd just settled on doing: let his true self show.

“Um, Tamaki-kun, would you like to play a game?”

Tamaki cocked his head. “Game? With you?” He hesitated, but then a spark of excitement lit his eyes. “Okay.”

Sogo held out his hand and beckoned for Tamaki's, clasping their fingers, all but their thumbs. It didn't take long for Tamaki to register what game Sogo intended on them playing. “Thumb War? I didn't know you knew that game, Sou-chan?”

_Not until I met you._

Clearing his throat so as not to whimper at the memory (or vision) of Tamaki teaching him how to play, Sogo declared a Thumb War and the two began struggling to pin each other's fingers. Sogo smirked the moment he achieved the feat of immobling Tamaki's thumb. To his pleasure, Tamaki also seemed pleased, impressed.

“Sou-chan! You're great at this! I didn't think you'd be since your hands are so small, but you're pretty strong, huh? You're always great at a lot of things.”

“Thank you,” Sogo said, voice low. He was truly content for the first time today, happy because he felt like he was with _his_ Tamaki. He didn't want that to end yet. “Best two out of three?”

Tamaki grinned. “You got it!”

*

Later, Sogo stood alone, gazing at the night sky. Moonlight spilled in through the open window and bathed his room in an etheral light. It was beautiful, but even so, it wasn't putting Sogo at ease. The more he looked on, the more he filled with longing, until he couldn't bear anymore. He shut the blinds and collapsed on his bed, shuffling to get comfortable enough to settle down and sleep, but his thoughts were frustratingly persistent.

For the umpteenth time, he noted that the day, while sometimes damaging and confusing, hadn't been all bad. We looked at his hand, remembering Tamaki holding it during their game. The same firm grip, the same warmth he was used to, but for Tamaki it must have been more of a new sensation than a familiar or nostaligic one. Clenching his eyes shut, Sogo curled his hand into a fist and brought it to his heart.

_He's not gone. He's not gone._

With those words repeating, Sogo began to drift. Before he lost the consciousness needed to keep reciting them, his words of reassurance morphed into a prayer.

_Please, don't be gone._

*

Blinking his eyes against an onslaught of sunbeams through his blinds, Sogo groaned as he stretched and sat up in bed. It wasn't like him to sleep in, but after yesterday . . .

It wasn't a bad day, he reminded himself, but it had been difficult to bear, and Sogo was afraid that today would be more of the same. Tamaki not recognizing Sogo as he was now was making it feel like Tamaki just didn't know him, like they were strangers. How could he do with essentially losing the person who knew him most?

“We could just start all over again,” Sogo tried to reassure himself aloud. But would it be so easy? Could every word and action that had brought them to the cozy relationship he was missing be replicated so perfectly that they would lead to the same conclusion? It struck him that his bond with Tamaki might really wind up permanently altered, maimed, or even lost, and he curled in on himself, feeling sick and frightened.

Suddenly his door was inching open and Tamaki poked his head in. “Sou-chan, can I come in?”

Before, when they were still new to each other, he'd have chastised Tamaki for not knocking. Should he do that now? Somehow, he couldn't. Sogo swallowed against the lump that had formed in his throat, and forced a carefree smile. “Good morning, Tamaki. I missed the chance to wake you up this morning. I'm sorry.”

Tamaki didn't say anything, which made Sogo feel alarmed all over again. Did he startle Tamaki again. But he didn't look afraid or putoff. He was staring at Sogo with his head tilted, eyes searching him, stretching wide once they met Sogo's. “Sou-chan? Do you know me? I mean, this me. Do you know 'Forever Note?'”

Sogo started at the name of his own song. If Tamaki knew it then . . .

He held up his arms and Tamaki rushed to him, holding him tight and pressing his lips to Sogo's forehead.

“You're you, Sou-chan.”

“You remember me?” Sogo asked, still not fully believing that things had seemingly gone back to normal, just like that. How was it possible? Nevermind things returning to normal, how had time shifted to begin with? Sogo still felt like he was in a waking dream and couldn't quite trust that he'd snapped out of it.

“I wondered what happened,” said Tamaki, voicing Sogo's thought. “It was like I'd taken a huge leap back into the past or something.” He smirked, adding, “though, I guess that's pretty much what happened. You were like Iorin whenever I got close, getting angry and telling me to back off. It . . . kind of hurt.”

From what Tamaki was telling him, Sogo's mind quickly pieced what it could together.

_Tamaki interacted with past me while I was with the old him._

“I'm sorry,” Sogo apologized for his past self. “Thank you for putting up with the old me.”

“You don't have to apologize or thank me, Sou-chan. It's not like I was just putting up with you or anything. Old Sou-chan was who I fell for in the first place. You weren't the same, but you also weren't different. Like,” he paused to think, “you were hiding in a shell, but lately you come completely out of it. Seeing old you made me think you'd gone back in that shell, but in or out, you're still Sou-chan.”

“I'm still Sou-chan,” Sogo repeated, smiling. “I'm glad I hadn't gone crazy, honestly.

Tamaki grinned. “Me too. I would have thought it were all a dream if Yama-san didn't ask me to check on you this morning, saying he wanted to make sure you were back to yourself. He must have thought you were acting weird yesterday too. Weirder than usual, I mean.”

Sogo chuckled at the playful jab. “I can still hardly believe it, that somehow I was looking at and talking to a past version of you, like literally revisiting a memory. If I did go back in time, I'm so happy to be back in the present.” He held his arms up again and Tamaki again walked into his embrace, like he was meant to, enveloping him as strongly as always.

“I missed this,” Tamaki murmured, nestling into him. “I missed you, _this_ you. Ah,” he started, straightening to meet Sogo's eyes, “it's not that I didn't like Old Sou-chan because he wouldn't hug and stuff. I just . . . you know . . . uh—”

“I know,” Sogo interrupted, amused at Tamaki's flustered self. “Past Tamaki was cute, loveable, and I felt nostalgic seeing him again, but it felt strange not to touch. It's something I got used to because of you in the first place, so it . . . felt like a fragment of myself had been cut away, a small but essential part. You – the Tamaki I've grown alongside, with you is where I belong.”

Tamaki blushed harder, completely red, but he still looked relieved, happy.

Feeling his confidence surge, Sogo took his partner's face in his hands, gazing at him with all the heart he could muster. “I love you.”

His own face heating, Sogo blinked at Tamaki, hoping that, after putting off saying it all this time while Tamaki showered him with those words, he'd finally voiced what Tamaki wanted and needed to hear.

Tamaki gaped at him in silence, eyes staring until they started to water.

“Tamaki-kun?”

Suddenly Tamaki had returned to squeezing him tight, sniffling as he alternated between nuzzling against Sogo's shoulder and peppering his neck with kisses. “I love you too, Sou-chan. I love you so much. Never disappear again, okay?”

Sogo sighed as he pat Tamaki's head, moved but also amused. “But today's Sou-chan, will be an Old Sou-chan tomorrow. Every day there's a new old me and a new present me. Old me will always disappear for a new one right?”

Tamaki put on a pout, the face Sogo wanted to see. “Stop teasing, Sou-chan. You know what I mean. Stay with me?”

He said it as a question and Sogo grew serious. “Always, Tamaki-kun. Forever. As long as I live. Longer, if I'm able.”

After wiping his tears, Tamaki pressed his forehead to Sogo's. “So extreme, Sou-chan, but same. Like I've promised, you don't have to worry about losing me 'cause I'm not leaving.”

They stood like that for a long while, with only rain drumming against the window interrupting the silence. Forehead-to-forehead, eye-to-eye, as Sogo relished in their closeness, he truly relinquished all fear of losing Tamaki. Past, present, or future, they were connected.

*

“ _Do you ever get lonesome for the past?”_

Sogo almost dropped the plate he was washing. He whipped around and realized that the question had drifted to him from the television program Riku was watching.

“ _Everyone always works to move the whole body into the past, but the trick is lifting the mind, returning it to a memory, a past time. We can erase the fear of the butterfly effect or creating a paradox, all through a method that doesn't alter real time at all. And that method is hypnosis.”_

Wasn't it Yamato that had asked he and Tamaki whether they believed in hypnotism? Sogo could also vaguely remember that Yamato had gotten some tips on reading and manipulating psyche from ZOOL's Minami a week or so ago and was mopping about not having anyone to practice on.

If Sogo had been altered to see a Tamaki from his memories, and Tamaki had been made to do the same . . . What if they hadn't really visited another time but had spent the whole twisted day together, seeing and hearing illusions and believing them? Having the same conversation, having the same experiences, but hearing what their minds wanted them to hear, seeing expressions their minds wanted them to see. But that couldn't be, right?

He supposed he could at least compare events with Tamaki later, and then find and read a book on post-hypnotic suggestion.

Riku's attention snapped away from the TV once he noticed Sogo facing him.

“An interesting premise, right, Sogo-san?” he asked, beaming. “I've read a lot of books about time travel and I also wonder if I'd attempt to go back. To me . . . hmm, I think it would be nice, if only for a while. What about you, Sogo-san? Would you revisit the past if you could?”

Sogo laughed humorlessly. “No, Riku-kun, I believe I'm satisfed with here and now.”

END


End file.
